Actually I think what you wrote makes a lot
of sense.
I like this boy when he is sweet to me. He
is not all the time mean to me, just most of the time. For example, before
going to bed, he is usually very sweet. He would laugh with me and come to me to
say good night.
I think somehow he wants to be close to me
(most of the time), but he also wants to show that he hates me. In the good days,
he would come and talk to me, and say “lass mich in Ruhe”, but he is the one
who comes to me and talk?! Sometimes when we eat, he would say, you can’t eat. But
later he would help me to get the food to my plate. In the bad days, for
example, this morning when I was helping him putting clothes on, everything was
nice and good, but then he felt the sleeves didn’t go right (he wore 2 shirts),
then he started blaming me for not making it nice. He said it was all because
of me, and I really wanted to slap his face and tell him its your fucking
problem. But I didn’t, it is good that I didn’t, otherwise I would be sleeping
on the street already. I have never seen kids like this when I was in Taiwan, I
was an English teacher for kids and grown ups. Difficult kids like this, NEVER
SEEN THEM.
The first time I picked him up from kindergarten,
we spent 1 hour on the street, he was crying cuz he insisted to pick up ALL THE
STICKS(he likes woods) and leaves on the street, so he would have a gift for
his mom when she came back from work. I just wanted to go home. One fucking
hour. In the end it was the neighbor driving passby and brought him and his
bike home. I talked to the mom afterwards, the mom is very nice and willing to
solve the problems with me. She said if it was her, she would join him and pick
up the sticks and leaves. This is an option which had never came to my mind,
but she knows her son better. I am literally learning everyday with this boy.
I think what you said about making him
laugh is also a key point, it seems like I cant make him laugh that much as
others can. I also think you are right with the sensitive part, because I
simply think he is fucking spoiled and rude as hell. He probably senses the
vibe from me.
He is very very close to his mom and he has
a strong feeling about family, very protective to his family member. He loves
his mom so much that every time his mom leaves, he goes nuts. Basically, I think
he sees me as someone who tears his mom and him away. Because what I am doing
is the things his mom used to do for/with him. Bringing him to kindergarten,
getting him back, going to recreation with him (movies, park).
His mom raises the children up in a very
free way, and his is the youngest of three, kind of spoiled. He is also very
stubborn. As long as he doesn’t get what he wants, he goes nuts. In order to
get a piece of quiet time, the people around him would let him do it, so he can
shut the fuck up.
About the boundary, I don’t have a boundary
with him. I mean I had one, when he was rude to me, I would be angry and I would
tell him it is not right to hit/ say bad words to people. Telling him why it is
not nice to do those. But then I saw the people around them (mom dad bro and
sis) don’t really use this way, they just let him do it. So I gave up that way.
Now when he says rude things to me, I just pretended I didn’t hear it. About the
hitting part, the mom and I are still working on it.
For example, today I went to the basement
to get the laundry, then first he said, can I go with you, then he went down
with him and then he left and locked me in the basement. I knew it was going to
happen and actually the laundry also took me sometime, I just thought, ok this
time I would be relaxed, there is also a bedroom in the basement, if he wouldn’t
open the door for me, I would just sleep there, I am tired anyway. When I finished
with the laundry and went up, the door was still locked, I knocked twice and he
came to open the door for me and said “I locked the door” then I smiled and said
“ah, I didn’t know it. Good job”
This is a new thing I am trying, just
ignore what he does to me. Cuz like bullies, they like to see the victims’ reaction,
if there is no reaction, there is no fun.
Fuck, I wrote so much. But yer, what a
fucking spoiled kid.
